Gratitude is often described as a tool for well-being, a way to appreciate life’s gifts and find connection in the present moment. Philosophers like Marcus Aurelius viewed gratitude as a means to derive meaning from both joy and hardship, fostering humility and belonging. Modern science reinforces this, showing that gratitude can lower stress, improve mental health, and enhance physical well-being by activating brain pathways linked to happiness and resilience. This creates a positive cycle where noticing and appreciating the good in life becomes a natural habit.
While widely celebrated, gratitude is sometimes taken for granted or dismissed as a superficial practice. Some view it as an oversimplification of complex emotions or a luxury in the face of real struggles. This perspective often overlooks its depth and how it can coexist with hardship. Gratitude isn’t about ignoring pain but about recognizing its coexistence with hardship. It allows moments of light to surface naturally after processing emotions fully.
When Gratitude Feels Hard
Life’s challenges—grief, illness, heartbreak—can make gratitude feel impossible. Forcing gratitude in such moments can amplify feelings of inadequacy or guilt. It’s okay to acknowledge that gratitude isn’t always accessible; that’s not a failure.
Sometimes, the most honest response is to sit with the difficulty, honoring pain or anger without rushing to reframe it. This coexistence of gratitude and hardship acknowledges that both can hold space in our lives. Genuine gratitude often arises after we’ve allowed ourselves to process pain without rushing to reframe it.
When Gratitude Shouldn’t Be Forced
Gratitude becomes harmful when it’s used to suppress emotions. Phrases like “just be grateful for what you have” can invalidate someone’s struggles, implying they’re unworthy of support. This is especially damaging for those navigating trauma or loss. True gratitude isn’t about denial but about recognizing both the beauty and the pain of existence.
Instead of forcing gratitude, sitting with hard feelings and acknowledging them can provide more comfort. Validating pain creates a space where healing naturally unfolds, free from pressure.
Practicing Gratitude with Care
Gratitude thrives when approached authentically. It might mean pausing to appreciate a kind gesture, reflecting on a moment of peace, or savoring the warmth of a morning cup of tea. It’s less about the act and more about the intention—noticing the goodness in life, however fleeting it may be.
Gratitude doesn’t need to be a daily practice to be meaningful. Some days, it might mean marveling at a sunrise; other days, simply surviving. Both are valid.
A Gentle Reminder
Gratitude isn’t a cure-all; it’s a tool we can use when it feels right. When practiced with care, it offers solace and perspective, enriching life without demanding perfection. On days when gratitude feels out of reach, it’s okay to let it be—to trust that it will return when the time is right.
In the end, gratitude is less about always being thankful and more about embracing life’s fullness—its blessings and sorrows—with a heart that remains open.
Bio:
Palak Loyalka is a mental health advocate, psychology student, and volunteer at Ankahee, exploring holistic approaches to well-being through creativity, fitness, spirituality, and academic insights.