The way we listen often reflects the experiences we carry. Sometimes, we respond with advice, hoping to help. Other times, we simply sit with someone, offering quiet acknowledgment. Both forms of listening hold value, but recognizing when to offer one over the other can significantly impact our relationships.
When someone shares a problem, the instinct to provide solutions is natural. It can feel supportive and constructive, especially when the person seeks direction. However, even well-meaning advice can sometimes miss the mark. Not everyone needs answers—sometimes, they just need to feel heard. In these moments, being present without attempting to fix things can be the most meaningful response. Acknowledging someone’s feelings reassures them that their experience matters, fostering connection without the need for immediate resolution.
When to Simply Listen:
– They’re expressing emotions but haven’t asked for advice.
– They seem overwhelmed and need to vent.
– Advice might lessen the weight of what they’re sharing.
How to Hold Space:
– Reflect their words: “That sounds really difficult.”
– Offer simple support: “I hear you.”
– Resist jumping in with personal stories.
Finding the Balance:
Asking, “Would you like advice, or do you need me to just listen?” can create clarity and show respect for their needs. It’s a small gesture that can shift the tone of the conversation, making space for trust and understanding.
There are times, however, when we may feel unable to hold space for others. Our emotional capacity isn’t limitless, and acknowledging this is important. Empathetic listening while emotionally drained can lead to disconnection or resentment. It’s okay to set boundaries when necessary.
That said, there’s a difference between honoring our limits and closing ourselves off to others’ vulnerability. In a world where 33% of adults report feeling lonely, fostering connection remains essential. Loneliness not only affects mental health but also has measurable physical consequences, such as increased risks of heart disease and stroke. Community and meaningful engagement can reduce these risks and improve overall well-being.
At Ankahee, our mentor Manohar highlighted the importance of reaching out. Holding space for others, even in small ways, can be transformative—not only for them but for us as well. A simple “How are you feeling right now?” can spark connection and remind someone they’re not alone. Equally, turning that question inward fosters self-awareness and care.
Listening—without the need to solve—can be a quiet yet profound act of love and presence. Perhaps the greatest gift we can offer is our presence, trusting that in being heard, a path to healing unfolds.
Bio:
Palak Loyalka is a mental health advocate, psychology student, and volunteer at Ankahee, exploring holistic approaches to well-being through creativity, fitness, spirituality, and academic insights.